A week after our unplanned return (upon my father’s request) to my hometown via AirAsia which cost both of us RM800 to and fro (I still cannot believe that we did that) ; me, him, and his family – together we flew back again to Langkawi from KLIA.
I still remember the arrival; it was Saturday around 11.30 in the morning, February 6th 2010. Two rented Multi-purpose Vehicles awaits us. Everything went very smoothly, and there we are, welcomed by my father, granddad,tok imam, my relatives and several elder respected folks. All of us sat in a semi circle at the center of my house. Oops! I’m not in the semi circle. I was with my mother. My mother? Well, you know where evergreen girls are ; they love to be in the kitchen – chit chatting, laughing, gossiping, etc. But I am not with my mother to chat, laugh or gossip. I was there to distance myself from the tense conversation at the center of my house.
My father, granddad, Tok Imam (pious man, trusted leader of Muslim prayer at a mosque), and the elder villagers, sat face to face with Halim’s family for the first time, talking about me, my marriage, my future.. How can I not feel the tense? Or at least feeling nervous? That is why one minute I am in the kitchen, one minute I am in my room, and then back to the kitchen again – helping mother and her girlfriends, attempting to make myself busy and trying to be cool.
With blouse and jeans, I’m serving drinks to peoples in the semi circle. Cold drinks. Hoping the conversation will become cooler, lighter and easier. The conversation, also known as the Merisik Ceremony is a ceremony where the family of a man will ask the family of his desired girl whether the girl already belong to someone or not. I know it is not practical anymore nowadays as man and woman already know each other before they send they parents to hand in a marriage to their girl. But in my case, it is a need to make his family and mine get closer to each other as both families are living in a state that is very far from each other.
Usually, after several month of Merisik Ceremony, Engagement Ceremony will be held to tie the knot between them (the bride and the groom to be) indicating that both of them belongs to each other. The Engagement will last for a week, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 2 years or more before marriage – depending on the deal between the two families during the engagement day. Also during the Engagement Day, representative of the man will ask the family of his loved girl about the mas kahwin (in India, they call it dowry – a gift in the form of money or others given by a groom specifically to his bride to show his love) and hantaran (money needed by the bride’s family to held a wedding). When these two details have been agreed, the date of a wedding will be chosen. And today is just the beginning for me – that was what I thought.
In Malay tradition, the Merisik Ceremony will then followed by the Engagement and finally, a wedding. But mine was special - 2 in 1. Two ceremonies take place just in one day! – that is not our plan. Thanks Allah (the Best Planner ever) to make it turns out like this – and it couldn’t have been any easier than this.
Our plan is, Merisik on February, getting engaged on Mac, marriage on May. However, during the Merisik Ceremony, his family started to ask mine about the mas kahwin and the hantaran – like people did on the Engagement Ceremony. Without realising that their discussion will change my status to someone’s fiancée, all of a sudden both families agreed about the amount of the mas kahwin and hantaran. In the eyes of the Tok Imam, a knot has been made. And so he declared us as fiancé and fiancée.
With blouse and jeans, I smiled as his mother put on the Merisik’s ring on my finger..and the engagement ring will be given on our wedding day - May 28th, 2010. I am now a fiancée of Abdul Halim, the love of my new blissful life.
